MU Collaboration: Mega Mari

[Double]

The following review of MegaMari is a Phoenix Magnion-Unnamed Person Collaboration, henceforth to be referenced as MU. Our combined efforts went into this review. Special thanks to Snyder’s of Handover, Beer, and viewers like you which allowed this to happen.

Intro: Touhou is a series of shoot em’ ups from Japan with a cult following. Said cult following likes to throw characters from that series into facsimiles of other franchises, in this case the NES MegaMan games. Said cult following also spawned an English equivalent because things from Japan [sarcasm]are automatically totally cool and all that[/sarcasm]. Normally I wouldn’t consider reviewing such games but was urged to play the game by Unnamed Person (because that ass Neon forwarded the request to me), member of the latter cult, who while being good at Touhou games, Pokemon and Smash Bros, sucks at platformers. By our combined powers we were able to struggle through this game.




Gameplay: First of note, the gameplay is based around MegaMan 2 more so than the others, that means no sliding or charge shots. The main difference though is you have two characters, Marisa who plays like MegaMan did in MegaMan 2 and Alice, who has a crappy laser which is only good because it hits instantly but for far less damage. It can also pierce the defense of the Sniper Joe rip offs. Simliarly to Power Fighters when a boss dies they drop their power and you have to decide which character gets it, they get slightly different powers, enough that choosing the wrong ones will **** you over later, this is my major complaint here, Double didn’t like in Xtreme 2 and I don’t like it here. The pro of this though, is you get two health bars, which trust me you’ll need. Similar to MegaMan 2 you have 4 E-tank slots (good luck finding any), but in page from MegaMan 7 you can have Weapon and Super tanks instead. Further, they are saved with Passwords like in MegaMan 3. While it fundamentally plays like the NES games there is an increased focus on dodging projectiles, and in general more defensive playing. Oh one last thing, like MegaMan 1 if you revisit a stage you have to kill the boss again.
17 out of 20

Music: It’s not bad, not great no real complaints other than the regular boss music being pretty lax.
14 out of 15

Translation: It’s in Japanese you twit.
0 out of 0

Length: Like your older MegaMan games it has the traditional 8 stages and a fortress, which has 6. No second fortress, but you’ll be glad to know that.
15 out of 15

Rehash Factor: The game has several Touhou-ized versions of enemies from various MegaMan games, notably 1 and 2 but I saw a few inspired by enemies from MegaMan 3 (notably an asshole take on the hologram machines from Shadow Man’s stage). As to be expected the game also features an obligatory Yellow Devil parody… who also has GutsMan’s Super Arm move. Strangely there is also a section based off of World 1-1 from Super Mario Bros. in the third Fortress stage, I don’t understand either. Most of the bosses though have their own new attack patterns, minus the aforementioned Yellow Devil wanabee and the final boss has a Machine similar to Wily Machine II (only it's a giant Teapot of death) and also does the capsule battle thing from MegaMan 4 onwards. I'd make a list of the enemies used, but like Neon I R LAY Z.
14 out 15

Plot: The antagonist is upset at you apparently for not returning your books and decided to get a bunch of people together to kill you. Amazingly that’s still a better plot than Battle Network 4 and almost as good as MegaMan 6’s.
1 out of 10

Difficulty: It has been implied up until now, but this game is hard. Yes that is what she said but the point stands this game will make you it’s bitch if you’re foolish enough to play it. As mentioned before, being Touhou is a series of Shoot em' Ups the game has an overwhelming focus on projectile based enemies who fire several shots, even the Metool facsimiles fire nine shots instead of the traditional three. Bosses also follow suit with this; because you can’t slide your jumping skills must be impeccable to dodge everything. One thing you do however have in your favor is bosses don’t have an invincibility period in this game so you can kill them fairly quickly if you the appropriate weapon (and can hit with it… goddamn meteor thing). If enemies weren’t enough MegaMari also doesn’t fuck around with the vanish blocks or even spike drops they’re back and are even worse. I would recommend only trying this game if you can beat all six NES MegaMan games. Also in case you were wondering, yes Force Beams do make an appearance, but they’re the least of your worries, that’s how hardcore this game is. What’s worse is Unnamed Person said the Mario Parody, Super Marisa World, is ten times harder. Yes that is what she said.
15 out of 15

Total: 76/90 = 84.44444444444444444... %

Positive: Any doubts you had can be cleared Neon, you live with crazies.

Negative: That asshole in one of the stages that makes the screen go black over a series of annoying pit jumps while you're being shot at by rabbits and faries. There's a sentance I never thought I'd write.

If you’re foolish/brave enough to try this, kill the maid with Marisa, it gives you this games version of Flash Stopper.

[UHMEEEEBA]

It looks like you're not out of the woods yet Magnion...

U. N. Person says (12:00 AM):
Guess what?: http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/9946/1226980511929rk9.jpg

UHMEEEEBA says (12:01 AM):
That is horrifying.

U. N. Person says (12:01 AM):
The guy making it says a demo will be out in July.

UHMEEEEBA says (12:02 AM):
Wait someone is actually making that? There seriously are not words in the english language I can use to describe how retarded this is.

UHMEEEEBA says (12:03 AM):
And isn’t the chick playing Dr. Light the same one that was Dr. Wily in Mega Mari?

U. N. Person says (12:04 AM):
The designer says he’s pretending Mega Mari never happened. By the way, who’s Green Biker Dude?

UHMEEEEBA says (12:05 AM):
Nameless NPC who gets blown up in the first scene of MegaMan X2. Don’t tell me they’re going to ruin that too?

U. N. Person says (12:05 AM):
Ok, I won’t tell you.

UHMEEEEBA says (12:06 AM):
That is not encouraging.

[Double]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

[Jesuszilla]

Shit.

[Jango]

Green biker dude = Hong Meiling since she's fucking useless in Touhou

[UHMEEEEBA]

U. N. Person says (11:50 PM):
So I’ve got some updates for you about Mega Mari X, and I’m telling you them whether you want them or not.

UHMEEEEBA says (11:51 PM):
*grumble*

U. N. Person says (11:51 PM):
You should eat something Bob, if you’re grumbling in a chat window you must be really hungry!

U. N. Person says (11:55 PM):
Anyways, these are ideas they’re considering for right now:
-Yamane, the spider youkai is returning as a reference to some spider boss from the first X game. May be reduced to a mid-boss.
-Mystia is apparently going to be similar to a boss named Storm Eagle, only because the other bird youkai are busy elsewhere in the game.
-Flandre is apparently going to use her splitting ability to fight similar to "clone" type bosses.
-There are going to be bosses based off of characters named Vile and Iris.
-Aya will be apparently replacing a tutorial character named Alia, only her information will be very inaccurate, a bit of a Touhou joke.
-There is apparently a sub-plot based on one from X2 with a group trying to steal doll parts from Alice, if you fail to get them all you’ll have to fight the doll apparently.
-Also inspired from X2, a graveyard stage with zombie dolls. May or may not include Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot Reimu.
-Green Biker Dudette will be Hong Meiling.
-Dr. Patchoulli has been replaced with Dr. Mima as of now.
-Reisen may or may not be used to fill in for some guy named Axl, it depends as some people say Axl is too lame to warrant having a knock off.

UHMEEEEBA says (11:57 PM):
JANGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

U. N. Person says (11:58 PM):
Who?

[Double]

JANGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

[Jango]

holy fuck i was right