Fox's Review: Super Chick Sisters

[Fusion]

Go here if you want to play it

What happens when you take famous Nintendo characters, a gameplay style, and the world's most furious group of people who disdain any kind of good eating whatsoever in favor of grass and dirt?  You get PETA's Super Chick Sisters.

Even though the game is freaking scary with the graphical presentation of KFC's chicken being buckets of blood (not true), it is what it is: A Super Mario Bros. ripoff right from the title.  But, in true Fox fashion, I'm going to rate the game based on the very key factors that make a game what it is.

Graphics (9/10):

The flash-drawn graphics in this game, plus the solid 60 FPS rate give this flash-monstrosity a high point here.  The art style may be confusing at first, but it's easy to tell Nugget and Chickette's faces from their rear ends.  The random appearance of Mario, Luigi, Toad, Dr. Mario is somewhat well represented, though their appearances are all for nothing.  Pamela Anderson -IS- the Princess Peach ripoff, thus proving that Nugget and Chickette are lesbians.  Is that the message you want to send, PETA?  Don't eat KFC, Wii will break your arm, and make your kids lesbians?  Well, regardless, I'll save those statements for the "Other" part of the review.


Sound (2/10):

WHO LET THEM EVEN MAKE THE GAME SOUND LIKE THIS!?  This game is half-assed when it comes to sound effects in their entirety.  No effort was given to make the sound effects sound remotely decent, and the music is, quote the AVGN, "A shitload of fuck".  There is -no- specific tune whatsoever.  Every piece of music is just drawn out boring.  The only one I remotely liked was the 2nd stage's theme, and sadly that's also the most disturbing of the stages.  EVen then, they might've ripped that off from Legend of Zelda!


Gameplay (6/10):

You've gotta give the game some credit here.  60 FPS is not easy to do in Flash, let alone syncing it all up and keeping it actually playable as opposed to half-way playable at 15 FPS.  But what irks me is the complete lack of additional power-ups other than Tofu, which of course increases your size just like the Mushroom from Super Mario Bros.  The control is also somewhat loose, but it makes this, as a game, playable enough.  The cutscenes can be skipped, which is also a plus.  It would seem like the game's way too easy, though.

The levels are what drop this game down.  They are far too confusing to be an actual game.  There are enemies all over the place, but not a single one of them just about differ from the disembodied cartoony head of Colonel Sanders.  That's all you do, crush the Colonel's head and find the flag pole.  That's -all- you do in this game.  Kinda boring.

Other Notes:

Now, PETA, seriously, why the use of Mario characters, as well as the blatent use of the New Super Mario Bros title font?  Why couldn't you just have gone and called it "Chick Sisters", left out the Mario references, and just made it it's own game?  I'm sure it'd have ended up far better than what it did.  But instead, you attempted to cash in on the Super Mario craze by including Mario and Luigi trying to rescue Pamela Anderson instead of Princess Peach.  I bet, that if you actually beat the game, the Chick Sisters and the Mario Bros. meet.

I found only -one- scene of the game funny.  Mario leaves the hospital (after being healed by his Dr. Mario self, paradox of paradoxes) and asks for directions to the nearest KFC.  Turns out he makes it to a Koopa Rights Group movement and they all gang up on him.  I never thought those people supported Bowser.  Now we know who to blame: The idiots who say 'Life to koopas!'

Now, if I had that scenario (rights group) for Andross, I'd probably say "You guys are all dumb!  He's tried to take over the Lylat System twice!" and regardless of how many picket signs they threw at me, I'd get in my Arwing and just blow up Andross.  If they piss me off enough, his supporters too.  What!?  Do you people WANT your galaxy to be ruled!?

"We've got Wii-tis!" Is the worst idea for a fake disease name ever.  Wii-tis?  What the hack is that?  Well, the game defines it as a broken arm due to playing too much Wii.  Gee, what did they do?  Forget who Peach was and play G-Man's Half-Life 2 Spaz-a-thon all the time?  Only explanation I can think of.

So, if you're into kid games with blood buckets and a highly questionable target audience, this is a game for you.  If you're freakin' sick of PETA and their insane crap, then feel free to send Super Chick Sisters to your nearest Nintendo branch asking whether or not PETA had permission to use their copyrighted material in such a manner.  I'm sure Nintendo won't approve of PETA's Super Chick Sisters.

Yeah, I bet PETA didn't even get permission.

[UHMEEEEBA]

If I still did April Fools jokes I'd totally make Evil Colonel Sanders.

[Jesuszilla]

IIRC last year Vans wanted to make Colonel Sanders.

[UHMEEEEBA]

Oh thats right, wasn't he also part of the Intro of doom?

[Jesuszilla]

Yeah. OMG INTERNET winpose.